Born A Girl

Oy.

So, I'm kinda going crazy lately.  My dad gets some time away from Iraq to take me to Chicago; we leave Monday morning.  On Tuesday, I have to be on the DePaul campus between 12 to 5 p.m. to check into my room (so excited for it).  Sunday, I will be having a family dinner and Madison is, of course, the only other person invited that isn't direct family.  I get to be at some airport tomorrow at sometime (we still don't know when or where we are picking my dad up at).  To top the list, I still haven't packed for Chicago, and I haven't been able to check all 57 of my watched topics!  D:

I miss you all.  Too much.  When I was driving today, all I could talk about was Buzznet.  It got so bad that I began to swerve off the road just a little bit because I was getting lost in Buzznet talk.  You are loved and not forgotten.

♥s to you all.  Talk to you soon (probably not until next Wednesday, but if that is the soonest, then so shall it be).

Seriously, I'm losing sleep over not being close to internet to talk to you all.  YOU are my only friends, and to be honest, I prefer you all to anyone, any day.  :)

Erm...So, I didn't know how to approach this journal, but then I decided that since I ShoZu'd the entire event thanks to my phone, I might as well use those to tell my tale. :*) Alright. Our adventure begins when I'm at my home getting ready to go with my nifty fedora:

If I'm going to something big like that, I thought that promoting Buzznet would be a pretty good thing to do, so I did. : )

Now, this photo was taken in Fort Garland, about 30 minutes from my house. Not sure why I took this, but I did, and you all commented on it! I like that you all like my haircut too. Vanessa, I swear that I was so close to getting his autograph, but I didn't actually get it. Next time, though... ;) An hour and a half later, I arrived at my aunt's house, only to be greeted by this:

After explaining how horrible a habit it is, I informed my family that I wouldn't stay with them unless there was no smoking that night. The obliged, and we had couple hours in the morning. We danced in the street, laughed about everything imaginable and I pulled out my trademark weapon of choice:

Unfortunately, the lollipop broek off, so I decided to eat it as my midnight snack/treat. It tasted delightfully sweet. : ) Cut to a couple hours later:

On the road to the very annoying Denver International Airport. It isn't very bad, but there were so many turns that we took that we didn't have to. That is what you get for jumping the gun. :P

After going for about 30 minutes trying to find out where I'm supposed to go and what I'm supposed to do, I finally found out where it was I was to retrieve my ticket.  I got it with no problems and walked through security, which can only be explained as a complete nightmare.  It was so ridiculous; I even had to take off my socks!  I was like, "Uhmmm..." during the 20 minutes I was stuck there, but afterwards, I felt pretty into the trip.  I was disgustingly tired, due to the lack of sleep from the night before, so here in this photo:

I'm tapping into my inner happiness to push it into my cameraphone.  And hey, it looks like it worked!  : )

My gate was probably the easiest thing to find when I got passed security, and I sat down for about an hour or so before the plane showed up.

The gates at Denver International are so cute and cozy.  They all have large windows that allow you to see the planes from where you are sitting.  I decided to make good use of those windows and I took some photos of the Frontier planes that were next to one another:

My plane was the one in the second photo.  I rode the Dolphin plane with Frontier Airlines, and the cool part was that the flight crew would say, "Ride The Dolphin" when anyone walked on board.  Seriously, I never laughed so stupidly in my life about that one.

I got to my window seat and right next to me sat an elderly woman who seemed more than eager to share her life with me.  I avoided eye contact as long as I could, but as soon as the captain announced it was time to take off, I looked over and she decided to open up.  She told me her life story and the stories of her son and daughter who are going to grow up and make a name for themselves.  I kept trying to drown her out, but a man behind me was snoring extremely loudly making the task all the more difficult.  Needless to say, no sleep was had on the ride.  Well, not by me.

Getting off of airplanes is the easiest thing to do in the world.  There are arrows pointing to either "baggage claim" or "exit" and I got out of there within about 3 minutes upon arriving to San Diego.  Unluckily for me, the restrooms are located at the very end of the exits, so I made haste and booked it towards the men's room.  Here I am:

Yes, Vero, that is a "The Hush Sound" hoodie and I wouldn't mind if you stole it from me sometime.  It was a very odd restroom, but it was really cool to see that there was a baby changing station inside.  I can't say that I've seen too many of those in my time either, artistspin.  I walked out of the airport scratch-free and tripped right out the front door.  I blame so many things for it, but the real reason was probably sheer clumsiness.  ;)

I took a shuttle from Terminal 2 to Terminal 1 and kept calling and calling to see if I could get Misery on the phone.  As soon as I did, I did a little fanboy "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!" thing in my head.  As soon as I got off the phone with her, I kept saying, "OMG! I'm going to meet Misery!" over and over and over again.  (Seriously, when I say I am a nerd, expect nothing more.)  We agreed to meet at the Comic-Con grounds so I decided to take a hefty walk around the harbor to the Convention center.

The walk wasn't altogether unpleasant, but the humidity was so bad that I really only focused on that bit of negativity the whole trip.  Cool thing was that I saw tons of boats and the Pacific Ocean!  Here is one of the photos I got:

The walk and all was going fine and dandy, and then, he came along.  I'm not sure if there was just a screw loose in his brain, but he started screaming, "OBAMA WILL KILL US ALL!" and started to chase me.  Like full blown running me down like he was a bull, and I was a huge red tomato!  He kept screaming and chasing me for a good mile or so, and I was pretty much scared to death to do anything but run.  When I finally decided to stop running, I began to see tons of signs advertising where Comic-Con was to be held and nifty arrows pointing to where I had to go from where I was at.  Those signs saved my life, and I walked along the boardwalk thinking of how to react when I met who I was going to meet from Buzznet.  I won't tell you what I decided, but the whole time, I was laughing like a fool.

After a little while, I noticed cosplayers following me.  I walked across a few streets and there was the entrance to the convention.  I pulled out my phone, pressed redial and got Misery on the phone.  She had me wait for about 10 minutes, and I saw her in a crowd.  She smiled and noticed me, and I turned around, too freaked out that I had just seen Misery.  I kept thinking, "I could go walking away right now, and this really doesn't ever have to happen," and she walked up to me and said, "Hello, John."  If there was any way for you to induce a heart attack from me, it is for me to meet you in real life, after being pals for like 9 months online, and you just greet me ever so casually.  It was perfect.

Here is us going to pick up the badges for everyone:

That moment really seals up how I felt for the rest of the trip: excited and happy.

There isn't really much to say from there.  We decided to go check out the booths at Comic-Con, spending an unusual amount of time hanging out at the Square Enix table.  It was so cool to see all of these figurines for sale:

And Jenrrray, there were so many people in love with Vincent Valentine; I think that I read that his action figure was sold out within the first 2 hours they were selling them.  They got more of them on Saturday for all of those other fangirls that just love him to bits.  ;)

This shot was taken when I let Misery know that I was leaving this place with tons of photos of her and her daughters.  Despite the fact that my finger is covering the bottom of the photo, her smile is outrageously wonderful here:

Seroiusly, I can trust Misery with my life after this trip.  SHE IS SOOOOOOOO AWESOME!

Lots of time went by, and I was going from escalator to escalator trying to find Mark and where the girls were because we split up.  Here is an escalator shot:

Here is one from the convention entrance.  I sat on a bench for a good hour talking to a woman about how cool it was, and she was absolutely fascinated by the Night Rider display that they had there.  She was awesome, and so was the view.

Cut to the inside: this was taken when I was in hot pursuit of finding Mark.  There was press everywhere, and this guy was actually laughing lian idiot for this segment:

His laugh was very loud and absolutely annoying.  He was very cool otherwise, and I made my way away from the area to the middle of the second floor hallway to meet up with Fayette and Yashi. 

We saw Naruto cosplayers!  These two were sweet enough to stop what they were doing for a quick photo.  And, Helen, there were TONS of people, adults and children alike, in costume.  It was terrific! 

After meeting up with Fayette and Yashi, my sleepy mind caught up to my body and this shot was taken during the VIZ Panel while I was halfway asleep.  Faye got to meet one of her idols, getting two autographs from her and a nice couple of photos, and Yashi had that upbeat happiness that she naturally exerts (seriously, that girl has got some crazy good vibes coming from her; I loved it).

After the panel led out, we met up with the storm troopers: 

I didn't ask them right then to do the robot, but I did on Saturday, Kerri, but they were called away by someone before they did it.  (I know, I was pretty bummed that they didn't too.) 

While going up and getting off the escalators once, we ran into a GIR cosplayer from Invader ZIM.  He was screaming out something or another, keeping us mildly entertained for the while that we saw him.  After him, we saw more cosplayers:

OMG!  THIS NEXT MOMENT WAS THE BEST!  So, Yashi and Faye and I were staying in the middle of the second floor near the stairs and we were telling Mark to come meet up with us.  Now, we had been there for a while and he said that he had already been by like 5 times and he didn't see us.  We were like, "Uh-uh" and told him to come around once more.  He passed right by Faye and Yashi, both of them too stunned to actually say anything.  When I got to them, they pointed and said, "Mark is right there!!"  I went chasing after him, came with a sneak from behind hug and I was so surprised to actually be greeted with a delightfully happy Mark right before my eyes!  We went from where I found him to where Yashi and Faye had set up camp for us, and we all just sat and talked in joy.  That's where this photo was taken:

Misery ended up meeting up with us very soon after we met up with Mark, and we had a nice little sit-down before our evening panels.  (I'm such a freaking nerd; I COULDN'T STOP SHAKING EVERY TIME WE MET UP WITH MARK!  Maybe I'm a little bit too much of a fanboy...  ;) )

We went to our evening events, mine being the Avatar The Last Airbender Panel, which was only the greatest thing ever.  Afterwards, Mark, Misery, Yashi and Faye were waiting for me to show up for the World's Worst Cartoons.  I did, and they saved a seat for me, RIGHT BETWEEN MARK AND MISERY!!  I was like, "PHOTO-OP!"  We ended up taking this photo, which Misery loves she said quite a few times, anwent on with the joyous evening activities. 

After the cartoons, we caught our trolley to Old Town San Diego, and called it a night.  We had to make a stop on the trolley, where we met up with a drunk man that insisted on befriending me and talking about Fayette's hat (that girl is absolutely wonderful, by the way), but after he left, the trolley came to take us away.

The trolley was half-empty, and I got to sit by Misery on the way to the hotel.

Friday night was no more.

In the morning, I woke up after having a dream about Comic-Con only to realize that I was actually in San Diego, sleeping in a room with 5 Buzznet members in it.  It was too cool for words.  The girls decided to leave at around 11 a.m. to go to a panel, and Misery and I stayed behind.  That was when I got to see the best things that I have ever seen in my life.

MiseryxChord handed me a portfolio of hers, and said, "Have fun; I'm going to take a shower."  I, in my hands and ultimate possession, had a portfolio of Misery's and inside are some of the greatest creations that could ever be made or seen by another human being.  I feel extremely honored to be able to gaze upon those works of ~dazzle~, and I seriously hope that Misery gets to painting very soon.  After she finished her shower and I found out more about her family's past, I left with a chipper attitude and with Misery leading the way to the trolley.

The ride was actually much shorter on Saturday, but still just as fun.  We made it to the convention center, only to see these people setting up for an interview: 

It would be cool to have been interviewed, Becky, but unfortunately, they were only interested in the cosplayers.  : )

Misery and I split up, her going to take photos of Gerard Way while I attempted to get into the Chuck signing.  Sadly, it was all full by the time I got there, so I decided to stop by the Pokemon booth, where I got that cool photo of the gigantic Pikachu!  IT WAS HUGE!

From there, I decided to just have fun around the booths and get some photos of some of the promotional stuff they had around...

Rhianna: yes, those are from that Coraline movie.  They were showing samples from the movie and are going to have some of the footage they showed at the convention online for everyone to see.  It looks really cool.  :) 

Jack and Sally!  :D

Toffee dolls (so eerie, they were) 

She is a doll, through and through. 

They had a really awesome comic book artist section, and above are some of the "color-customized cards" that some of the artsists were selling.  I was like "ZOMG, HOW COOL!" and I got paint on a pair of my pants.  I didn't mind at all though; you've got to be prepared for those kinds of things.  :) 

I cannot recall for the life of me who the woman on left is, but the one on the right was doing a TV interview of her, and she did a great job.  The girl on the left did the next photo: 

GO TEEN TITANS!  (SHE IS SO SKILLED!)

After I hit up some of the booths, met up with Philip Moy (creator of the Ape Escape manga), got his signature on a comic book sheet, and I found out that it was passed 3!  This depressed me because the Chuck panel was scheduled at 3, and by the time I got there, it was all full and sealed up.  It was a MAJOR bummer, but I made the best of a situation, and went picture taking of some cosplayers while looking for the infamous, Jhonen Vasquez.

Here are three pretty ladies from Comic-Con:

OMG!  This guy was sooooooooooo funny!  He had a bag full of captions that I kept freaking laughing over! 

A colorful character, indeed, Kerri.  ;)

I sat in on Ray Bradbury's panel.  I had no inside knowledge of who he was going in, but I found out that he is a great author from many years back who is making a movie called "Ray Bradbury's Chrysalis".  Go here for more info; it looks like one hell of a movie!

Now, moving onto what confused many of you: this is the SciFi Channel's Eureka panel, where the fans basically nerded out asking if and when they'd see Carter naked, to which the creators replied, "You'll get to see him in just a towel in the new season!"  That's ALL they talked about throughout the whole panel, but I didn't mind it.  They can be quite humorous.  :)

I went to look for the entourage that I was hanging with, and I did end up finding Ian.  I told him to strike a pose, and pose is just what he did.  ;') 

(He was a good guy, funneh too.)

This was during our picnic time, and we enjoyed our PB&J sandwiches a lot (except for Misery, who gave hers to Ian before Masquerade). 

Hee hee.  C.J.'s tail.  ;)

These photos were from Masquerade; if you REALLY want to know about it, hit me up and I'll spill my guts.  If we have no further questions, we're moving on.   

Now, towards the end of the adventure after Masquerade, Mark met up with us and agreed to hang out with us for a little while.  This meant that he was going to bike from the convention center about 7 miles away to where our hotel was.  It was so funny; he beat us there!  Anywho, these were from before we boarded the trolley:

Misery on the trolley:

Isn't she a dish?  ;D

Now, this was where fun ensued.  Mark and I went about 20 minutes of looking for one another in the same area.  He compared it to the Labyrinth minus one very lusious Bowie (such a good movie).  Anyway, darktime shot:

Streetlamp sign:

So, I took Mark to the room where he layed on the bed next to Misery, and we talked about the Buzznet happenings.  I won't go to into depth about what we spoke about (because it wasn't even all that important), but it was so nice to just chill out with each other.  Now, I didn't know how awkward this photo was going to turn out, but right after I took it, Misery mentioned, "OMG! Mark and Misery...IN BED!"  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(And no Buzznet fanfiction contest to accompany this photo, JayV.  Not even if the stories would be some of the funniest stories ever written.  HAHAHAHA!)

Mark left us about half an hour after I took that photo, and he gave us all cute, little heart-felt hugs.  Umm...Kitten76, we NEED talk.  ;DDDDDDDDDD

So, I decided that since my flight left very early Sunday morning, I would just stay up for the couple hours that I had to and get out bright and early.  I woke up Misery twice for good-bye hugs and left the hotel that we were at and embarked on my way to the airport...by orange taxi.  The guy I called was super nice to me, and I was so depressed to be leaving. 

Got to the airport and had some food.  The hot cakes were great, and even the square eggs weren't too bad.  ;)

Taken after my security search.  I felt like my world was shifted to this angle after the security pass at San Diego International.  *shivers*

Right before I left, I snuck in a photo of the outside.  What you can't see:  an Italian man screaming obscenities to the truck because the truck isn't supposed to be there. 

I have so many of these kinds of photos.  I'll post 'em all someday... 

We went over safety guidelines once again, this time, they forced us to pull out our books and follow along.

The plane ride back was just chill.  I fell asleep and awoke and was like 10 minutes from landing.  I had a great time, and I get off the plane and was greeted by a huge Buffalo Bill sign: 

What a nice greeting to see when you first get to Colorado, isn't it? 

After about 20 minutes of trying to get out of DIA, I saw the "Welcome to Denver" sign.  It was a bit odd to me, but I was  shaky and tired that I really didn't care one bit about the sign.  I just wanted to get home!  My uncle soon found me, and we went driving to Castle Rock's outlet stores, where I got some lunch at a Taco Bell.  Here was a facy chandelier from the place: 

And I decided to close with this sky shot:

I dunno why.  It's pretty or something.  :P

On this trip, I learned so much about myself.  I know how dumb that sounds, but I'm pretty sure I came off to everyone around me as the biggest nerd alive.  I didn't add much to conversations (I have poor social skillz), but I was always happy!  At the end of the day, I'm not cool enough, but felt so honored to be able to hang with some of the best people here on Buzznet in real life.  I cannot wait until next year's Comic-Con, where I will be going to be meeting up with Misery, Yashi and Faye for another tremendous weekend.  Thank you to everyone that tuned into my awesome weekend via Twitter and Buzznet, and I love that this is proof that I actually can meet up with you all in real life at some point in the future.  Expect me at your doorstep very soon (Ikky, Seb, Kitten, Kassady, TheSceneAvenger, xBlanksFace, Crash, Hollow, HideDontSeek, JayV: you all are next).

P.S. - Buzznet needs a booth or event panel at Comic-Con.  Seriously.  : )

♥ 

Well, well. I haven't really kept up my goal of journaling as much as I should have done so. I used to love to journal, like bad, and now, I feel like it's kind of a chore. Okay, that's not true. I really don't know how to find any time to do that while getting ready for college and my summer activities.

As many of you know, I am quite the gossip fiend. I love to gossip about 90% of everyone no matter who they are. Don't worry; all gossip that pertains to Buzznet is usually very positive stuff.

Anyway, I have recently found out that an ex of mine (yes, this is petty) has taken a few turns down the wrong roads. There are drugs involved, even educational failure. I used to think that they would grow up to be successful someday. I thought it would make me feel good to hear about their current state of hell, but in all reality, I think that I'm actually kind of saddened by it. It could just be me growing up or growing dumb, but I actually feel sympathy for the dope; the same dope that told me that I would never go anywhere with my life because I lack initiative. Since then, I think that I've always tried to get in touch with my inner initiative. There is too much splendor and brilliance in so many people, we just need our eyes opened to it to actually get anything from our insides. Our brain is there for us to use to it's fullest potential, folks. Believe it and take that knowledge with you.

The energy is there, but will you choose to use it? Let's hope so.

Moving on...Comic-Con 2008 is here! I'm following Mark (PanasonicYouth) on Twitter, and it seems like it will be such a blast! I've got quite a few things that I'll be going to go see while I am there, and I can't wait to ShoZu the whole event. In case you didn't know, I'll be hanging with MiseryxChord and her two daughters, Yashiyama and FaidTheForgotten. We're going to have a bit of a Buzznet gathering, and I'm looking forward to it so much. Expect a lot of photos with me and them. Seriously, how many times will I get to hang with Buzznet members in San Diego over the next year?! By the way, if you are going, let me know and we'll hang out! I'd love to meet you, and I promise not to cling to you the two days that I'll be there (Misery, Yashi and Fai: ignore that; I'm clinging to you three like syrup to hot cakes!). Can't wait; I leave Friday morning!

Now, one of my favorite scenes from my all-time favorite movie, 1996's Phantom starring Mr. Billy Zane, Catherine Zeta-Jones and a handful of other great actors and actresses before they became as famous as they are now.

Gets me every time. ;)

For the finale, I think that I've been hit in the head with a big ball of hope. It's like going to a spa after not showering for a month (not that I would know or anything...). I've felt this way before. Many times, actually. This time is different, though. Maybe just a little bit. I feel like I'm at the end of a sitcom, going to Comic-Con and living it up before my show gets cancelled. I don't have many viewers these days, but the ones that I do have, I'll love forever. My sitcom is getting cancelled, and I don't think that I'll be able to bounce back from this. Or wait. I do. That is what I'm actually getting at. I have hope. Despite the fact that I am scared to death of being so far away from home and literally having none of my regular comforts to support me, I feel okay. I think that I know what it's like to have faith in something at this moment. I used to always have difficulty with religious beliefs because I could never really imagine the idea of someone grinding the gears of life and creating me. Right now, I can. It feels nice and scary. It's a good combination. I have obligations that I may never stick to, but I'll work as hard as I can when I can to get them done. I don't need people or looks to validate who I am. I have a million friends in my head, and you mean the world to me. I have so much confusion about so much that it has imploded into hope by the bucket loads. I'm growing up, Granny.

It's time to get going; I've got a back to pack and a weekend to get pumped for.

P.S. - Yes, the 365 vlog project will continue! I have to step up my game, thanks to all of you vloggers these days. They will be back sometime in the near future (I'll probably set one up for tomorrow night.) I love you gals and dolls.

You make dreaming worth it (e plurbus unum).

And what keeps you coming back over and over again?

Before you answer, I'd like to not have a general "because of the awesome community" answer.  Seriously, there has to be a broader or an even deeper answer to the question.

Enlighten me.

P.S. - No, there is nothing wrong.  I'm just curious.  I want to pick your brain and feed it to zombies.

So, I wake up after about 3 hours of sleep, fully refreshed.  I go to my computer, check my email, and guess what?

MISS COCO PERU EMAILED ME!

Okay, let me back up and drop some links/pictures.

There is a drag queen by the name of Ms. Coco Peru, played by a man by the name of Clinton Leupp.  Here is a picture of Clinton Leupp when he's all dolled up and ready for performance:

Pretty believeable get-up, right?

I first saw him in a movie called "Girls Will Be Girls," which is one of the best and funniest movies that I've ever seen in my life.  Definitely a top 3 favorite right there.  I can safely say that that movie put me more in touch with my sexuality than any movie has before (seriously, after being thrown out of whack with all the crap you see today, that movie is one amazing breath of fresh air).  Anyway, since then, I've seen him on an old Thanksgiving episode of "Will & Grace," a very small and hidden role in the film "To Wong Foo Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar," have seen tons of his stand-up (thank you, youtube) and found out he was in an earlier movie called "Trick," one movie that I've been trying to get a copy of for the last couple of days.  Hmm...maybe I should try ebay...?

I'm getting off-task!  Okay, so I went to Clinton Leupp's main website, MissCocoPeru.com, yesterday, went to the contact page, sent him a nice message and that was it.  I had only hoped that he would read it, not reply and make me nearly choke on the apple I ate this morning!

What I said to him exactly was:

"To either Mr. Clinton Leupp or Ms. Coco Peru:

I'd like to say that you are in true adoration by one of your younger fans.  You and your drag queen counterpart have created a miraculous career for yourself, and imagine all of the people in the world that you've helped inspire to be courageous and take a stand for themselves.  I truly do admire you in every sense.  I love that you aren't afraid to let people know who you are, and that's something that people truly fear these days.  People need to start coming out of their shells and taking a more strong attitude, something that I'll always love you for having.  Seriously, you are my favorite breath of fresh air.  Thank you for all that you've done, and I cannot wait to see what Ms. Coco Peru has in store for us next!

- John"

Here is the reply that I received back:

"Hi John,

Thank you for that wonderful email, I really appreciate the support and
that you took the time to write me. I believe that drag has been a really
healing part of my life and it has opened me up to so many things that I
would've never experienced  had I not created Coco. I am so grateful that
I "saw the light" and that people like yourself have grown to appreciate
my little take on drag and the world!

XO
Coco"

Seriously, how freaking cool is that?! 

He does stand-up in Chicago quite frequently, so you know where I'm going to be everytime he comes into town!  : )

Just thought I'd share.  It's not every day that an idol of yours sends a message your way, you know.  ; )

Much love!  Enjoy your day!

Where do I begin to talk about what I'm thinking...

It's sometimes best not to share the burden of our minds with others.  50 years ago, it was unheard of to voice your opinions, your choices, your issues, to anyone at all.  No matter who you are, your problems are yours and yours alone.  No need to share, no need overdramatize.

To put it cryptically, I'm juggling everything and everyone at this point.  In a few months, I'm not sure that any action that I do right now will have an affect on the future at hand.  I know who my roommate will be, I know where I'll be living, I know how much it will cost, but I feel like I don't know a damn thing at all.  I've got two strangers that decided to talk to me again that I used to adore.  I still do, but in a more juggling sense.  I don't want one, I don't want both.  I don't want.  Or maybe I do want.  Or maybe I don't.  There is no easy decision.

I feel like the world's biggest joke.  I'm going to move, fall into a sham and be too naive to fix myself.  Everyone knows it's going to happen again, and there will be nothing but laughter for me to hear.  I do not like being laughed at, especially for failure.  I'm not embarrassed, nor will I ever be.  I'm done with risks. 

Or maybe I'm not.  I'd love to attempt, but it's so hard to stay secure, you know?

Oh, boy.  I'm confused.  XD

I'm tired of taking from others.  I'm sure that you are wanting to comment this right now, but I'm delighted that I'm not taking your words right now.  They are yours:  use them for a better cause.  Go and cheer up someone else's day.

They need it.  Go!  Now! 

Much love.  Sorry that I am confusing; if you can make sense of this, please read it back to me and make sense of this to me. 

In the habit of feeling megazen on occasion, I'd like to bring up the topic of the future. Warning: I'm not megazen right now. Matter of fact, I'm in a pretty "kick someone's ass" kind of mood right now. I'm rolling with it.

What's in store for us in the future? Who will be our leaders? Will this be the final generation?

First off, has any goddamn generation known what was going to happen to them 10 years down the line? That's right: no, they have not. Sure, they have always hoped for certain things and had theories on what is to come, but that is much different than predictions happening exactly as planned. We've lived on this Earth for some 2008 years, and 25,000 years or so before Christ was born, and we're fine. There have been tons of issues we've had to face before, but when the time came to buckle down and solve our issues, humans have pulled through for the greater good.

The end of the world will not be caused by unintelligence, it will be caused by inactivity. People these days are too lazy to do any good for humanity.

Recycling? "That will take maybe a half an hour out of my week that I use to watch television!"

Volunteering? "Doing a selfless act where I don't get paid is SO not worth it!"

Tutoring? "No way! I'm so much better than all of those idiots that need tutors to be kind and help someone out!"

Just try to think how great things would be if you could find maybe just one hour to help the world each week? The world would change within the first month, no doubt. Those problems that everyone keeps freaking out about would probably dissipate altogether. People are too selfish to give up an hour though. It's your precious time, who the hell cares about anyone else?

When I think about leaders, I think of the President of the U.S. Now, contrary to what you may believe, the way Bush handled our country wasn't completely horrible, was it? At least we are still a nation. At least we still live under a set of laws and regulations. I side with Democrats, but I don't think that Al Gore could have done a better job than George. How would you have liked to face a tremendously tough term involving a few destructive natural disasters, terrorist attacks, overseas conflict, gas prices and a nation that blames YOU for every single one of their problems? I couldn't have handled it. I'd have shot myself by the end of September of 2002. Under all of that pressure, he didn't do too bad.

I think that things are going to start looking up for us, as a world, in the future. When the U.S. elects a new leader, people are always trying to make deals and treaties with one another to open up a new period of happiness. This happens every election, and every election, people have smiles on their faces for the first few months. Now, that has always been a great start; it just needs to be sustained. The more positivity we have about our political figures, the better off everything will be. That does mean that we have to live with our problems for now, offer possible solutions and, eventually, resolve our conflicts. Kids, this can be done; don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

With all of our problems (gas prices, economy depletions, war), who is to really say that we can't get out of them somehow? If you think about it, we're not the only generation who have ever had problems, and many of the problems that we do face have been dealt with and resolved time and time again. Seriously, there have been tons of stuff in the past that people had to face, but they got through it. We're going to get through life, so stop acting like we're not, stop feeling sorry for our generation.

People keep talking about how bleak the future is going to be. I'm taking an old saying that my mother used to say to me for this:

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

I guess what this all is leading up to is if you feel sorry for this generation, get your ass off of your computer and do something for humanity, and I'd like to mention that we all need to start being positive about the future again, damn it! The only thing that scares about the future is the fact that the cynics out there won't have anything better do to with their lives than bitch about how pathetic and horrible the times are going to be without doing anything to try to make things better.

If you truly think about it, nothing is worse and more pathetic than that.

(Yes, I'm completely sick of every sleazy cynic in the world.)

My reason for posting: Because I have a voice, I have an opinion and I have the right to promote optimism. Whether you accept it or not is your doing, but eventually, it will be the undoing of us all if people don't start realizing it.

From left: Jon Moss, Mikey Craig, Boy George and Roy Hay.

There is little to be said about the 1980s that hasn't already been said before. "It was the best of times" seems to suffice what I believe the period was all about. There was so much musical change: the transition from punk to pop, glam rock to new wave, from guitar to synthesizer. The people living back then knew that they were making a change in the world with their upbeat fads and amazing musicians. One of the more notable and most fervent trendsetting artists that was to be remembered best during the time period was none other than Boy George.

Going back to his roots, George Alan O'Dowd was born exactly 46 years ago today (which is why I've waited to post this), in a small, but loud, environment. His father, being a distant, wife-beating ingrate, never paid much attention to George, so he grew up with his music, looking everywhere and anywhere for a role model.

As he grew into his teen years, he began to wear make-up, as it was the popular thing to do during the glam-rock era in Britain. He'd relish ideas from idols like David Bowie, but always made it a point to have his glitz and glamor look more unique than he had ever seen on anyone else. This is where his creative fuel began to blossom. When he was 17, he started hanging out with a group of people that shared his musical and glamorous interests, and continued to live the party life with no worries for nearly two years. After attracting the attention of a music executive by the name of Malcolm McLaren (yes, he previously managed the Sex Pistols), his new friend decided to force him upon a band called Bow Wow Wow. The band consisted of 4 outlandish members, including a 14-year-old Annabella Lwin, who was a brilliant mind behind such songs as "I Want Candy" and "Go Wild In The Country." George accepted the position as a secondary lead singer under the stage name "Lieutenant Lush," but soon left because of personal disputes between band members.

George had his first tast of fame, and he wanted more. To shut up and start getting into Culture Club's history, George continued to party on, depressed about leaving the band, until meeting with bassist Mikey Craig. They decided that they could make a band work if they put all their effort into it. Their new band, In Praise of Lemmings, died as soon as it had begun. Despite their efforts failing, they didn't give up. Then, a drumming man came into George's life that would change him forever: Jon Moss. Right after Jon jumped aboard the band wagon, guitarist/keyboardist Roy Hay decided that he needed to get in on the action. And there they were: Sex Gang Children. They kept that name for months before they abandoned it for their more mainstream-acceptable name Culture Club; this was also the time where George adapted 'Boy George' as his on-stage persona. The unique sound for Culture Club was a mixture of new romanticism, new wave, pop, reggae and slight rock stylings. This was certainly something taken straight out of a book on originality, but the best part of it all was that Culture Club delivered with success!

"Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?" by Culture Club

(*random fact* - That song was written by George about his relationship with Jon.  Listen to it again, and you'll understand his state of mind at that time.)

In 1981, the band was complete and worked up enough music to put it together as their first album entitled Kissing To Be Clever. Their album did very well; their first single and second single barely missing the U.K. Top 100, but their third single, the infamous "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me," was such a great single that it peaked at number 1 on over 16 different Top 100 lists around the globe. People really took a shining to Culture Club, considering that they consisted of four radically different types of people. They appealed to everyone, and were ready to hit the top of their game with their next album.

Unknown to the guitarist and bassist, Jon Moss and Boy George began seeing each other romantically, but it was a relationship that was doomed for failure. There was constant bickering between the two about this or that, and the major fact that they had to keep their relationship a secret from the press was eating away at George. He wanted to open up, but Jon said that he wouldn't be with him if that was the case. This inner conflict between the two band members began to eat away and rip the band apart ever so slightly.

George and Jon

A legendary album to any 1980s fan is going to have to be Culture Club's sophomore album Colour By Numbers. With songs like "Church of the Poison Mind" and "Karma Chameleon," this is one of those records that will always remain one that you can listen to all the way through, all the time. This was when Culture Club reached their commercial peak, and all around fame. EVERYONE knew who Boy George was, I assure you. His vocals (and the back-up vocals of Helen Terry) were something that was limboed in the realm of music, and people couldn't get enough of it. It'll remain timeless and regal for as long as music continues to be made, without a doubt.

This was about the time that Boy George began to turn to drugs. He had just developed a new found A-list celebrity status and was hitting the underground party scene pretty hard, getting heavily involved with sex and heroin. The band had always been against drug use, and George's hypocrisy angered the band.  They pretty much wrote him off, and he was alone.

"Karma Chameleon" by Culture Club

In 1984, they recorded another full length album. Waking Up With The House On Fire, From Luxury To Heartache had so much less passion and so much less energy than the previous two albums had. The sales were poor, the band morale was poorer. They all knew that an end was close, and decided to bow out in the summer of 1986 when Boy George was arrested for possession of illegal substances.

They all live substancially awkward lives now, definitely not as fun as their lives would have been. Though, to let you all in on what's current, Boy George is on tour late this summer, and I'm gonna try my hardest to catch him in concert! =D

Boy George (at his prime)

As much as I hate to say it, Boy George buried the band, but I can understand what he was going through that made him turn to drugs in the first place. The man is a rarity among men, an original among originals. There has been none like him before, and I certainly doubt that anyone can carry on his charm and unbelievably amazing taste in everything ever again. To sell more than 45 million records is no easy feat, but George did it with style, make-up and a finely tuned voice that is recognizable world-wide. I'll be doing a biography on him solely in the near future, so I'll end this with one of my favorite Boy George quotes:

"I prefer a nice cup of tea to sex."

Much love.

P.S. - Also, be sure to join the Buzznet Music History group that we've finally got going on here. FINALLY. : )

You will not like what you see. These are my physical imperfections that I'm laying out on the line. Look or look away; you do so at your own will. I completely understand if you do not look at me the same after this. Just thought you should see what I look like sometime, and why not do it through a project? : )

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My Face

I have redness. I have pimples. I have blackheads. I have scars. I have odd cheekbones. I have big lips. I have one eyelid that hangs lower than the other. I have big ears. I have oily skin. I have bumps. I have an extra chin.

(My nose, of course.  Crazy close-up, eh?)

Above all, I have personality. I have shapes. I have character.

My Teeth

These have always been one of my main weak points. I don't care what I think of my teeth, and that's bad for me. I do care about what others see of my teeth, something that I should've let go a long time ago. I've been working on letting go of this insecurity for a while, but it won't ever happen until I can get them straightened, which will be in the following weeks when I get my braces. That is probably the only time I'll ever feel comfortable about them, in all reality. =/

My Arms

I have really chubby arms. There is a ton of atrophy around my bicep region, as I have been inactive in so long. I used to have pretty nice arms, if I may say so myself and not sound so vain, and I'll be able to bring them back up to the way they were. It's just a matter of time. : )

My Midsection

I have never said that I was thin. Just because I am a Buzzmaker doesn't mean that I am good-looking. I am horrificly disgusting. The way that I like to describe it is think of a pregnant woman that is pregnant with 5 children at once. Now, imagine that she gave birth to all of her children, lost about 25 percent of the body fat and you've got me. I do not exaggerate.

This last year, as many of you know, I have had a complete year off from school. I graduated early just so I could have some time to relax, but this year really took it's toll on my body. I gained 80 pounds since I graduated high school, and have become excessively lazy.

I am working on fixing this problem; I've been to the gym everyday this week and I am starting to get some tone back into my midsection, even if all that I can do is feel it rather than see it right now. I love to run, so I'm getting back into the habit of doing so, and since I've been running again, I've lost 6 pounds. I'll get back to where I feel pretty on the outside. It's just not going to go away on it's own; I must take action. I've got to maintain that mentality.

My Weight

I used to weigh 140 pounds, and that was when I was at my happiness. I was a lean, mean, green teen. The way I look at my weight is two different ways. The first: I am 17 years old, and this is not a healthy weight for a 17 year old. It's just not. The second: diabetes and heart disease run in my family. I'm such a hypochondriac that I almost can't stand myself sometimes.

At my highest in my life, I used to weigh 250 pounds in the 7th grade.  I've slimmed out before, and I just know that I can do it again. I can admit that I've had weight fluxuations, and that is all that I'm treating this as. Hey, Gerard Way and Tyson Ritter were chubby kids, and they grew up and out of it, didn't they? I have hope for the future. I'll be in college track running by the time I start at DePaul. I've just gotta work at it and work at it and work at it. : )

You don't have to look beautiful/handsome to feel it.

If you look at me differently, so be it. I always said I wasn't perfect; here's just a taste of how bad I really am. This project is going to be a great eye-opener, to myself and I hope, to others.

I'll be doing much more of these in the future.

I'll be back for good soon, I promise!

The Trip

First off, I didn't even go the frick to bed until it was about 4. I was busy watching re-runs of The Nanny that my DVR had recorded from days before. Gotta love DVR! =D

I awoke to the sounds of my sister screaming, “WE'RE LEAVING IN 10 MINUTES?!” I jumped up like I had a date in 10 minutes and it would be with my soul mate. Sadly enough, it was just to go see the Honda Civic Tour. *sigh* We left at about 10 in the morning, and I got to drive for about 2 hours. I actually enjoyed driving up, mainly because I had The Wombats blaring in the car keeping me focused, and I finally learned the ultimate control of my car's cruise control setting! My driving career is starting to look up for me.

So lame, but all that happened was I drove halfway and my mom traveled the other half. We showed up later than expected, but all was well when Audrey came running to me with a huge smile on her face.

The Line

I LOOKED FOR BAYLIE EVERYWHERE! IF YOU ARE READING THIS, YOU KNOW THAT I COULDN'T FIND YOU TO SAVE MY LIFE! Side note to Baylie: we should have planned our meeting up better. =P

Anywho, my sister and I showed up and met with Audrey a little after 3:30 P.M., only a few moments after The Hush Sound decided to leave the venue for a brief coffee run before the show. They left, and I arrive; what luck, eh? To make matters worse, the only eye candy that could be seen in the crowd were either taken or guys that pretend to like other guys. There were some pretty girls there too, but they were way too 'scene' to give me the light of day. It's all good, in reality. I like my scene with a bit more sunshine and a hell of a lot more smiles. ; )

While in line, I met some folks who I've never met before, but they seemed like really awesome gals. They were these girls that Audrey's little sister knew from a previous concert, and it's always nice to meet up with your friends like that. Especially when they are neat to hang out with. Minute after minute passed, and after two trips to the end of the line to look for Baylie, we finally started moving forward at a steady pace through the doors of the Fillmore Auditorium. My sister sneaked the camera in like a professional, and we were in. I headed to the merchandise table with Audrey, while my sister and Audrey's younger sister (and her friend) ran to the front of the pit. No way was I going in the pit without my main woman, Maddy, not being there! It just wouldn't be right.

Audrey, her mom and I circled the place for a bit, made camp and the show began with the last text message going across the screen saying, “I love John Ortega!!!” It was a highlight of the night for me, mainly because I've been feeling like a moody lunatic lately. (Thanks, Audrey. I owe you a lifetime of happiness!)

Phantom Planet

Guitar strums and creaky vocals never sounded so amazing. They were the first thing to be heard, as “Geronimo” was the first song to be played, and it set the tone for the rest of the concert. There was such an expected reaction from the crowd as they came on: the group “d'uh” look. Nobody moved while they played, and it's probably because no one knew any of their songs; good thing I did my research before coming up! Alex was a hot shot and had such a sweet attitude about being the opening act. They ended up pulling in cameos from both The Hush Sound (minus one drummer) and a Mr. Ryan Ross to play “Big Brat” and “Do The Panic,” respectively. Let me tell you, they could perform!

The finale was obviously going to be “California,” the theme from the TV show, “The O.C.” They were a bit of a one-hit wonder after that, but their new album, Raise the Dead, is full of hits! I recommend the album to anyone who wants to listen to something a little exciting, a little dark and just a little bit eccentric. They rocked out like veteran zombie rockers!

The Hush Sound

Can you believe that The Hush Sound was definitely the best band of the night!? In my sincerest of opinions, they were rocking it from wall to wall! They started off with “Medicine Man”; Greta looking more gorgeous than any other woman who has ever played on that stage. She bopped from side-to-side, pulling out a steady flow of dead-on vocals. Things moved so smoothly that I almost didn't catch the beginning of “We Intertwined.” Being my favorite song from Like Vines, you can bet that I was freaking out! All I can recall over the next few songs of theirs were just a blurb of screaming at the top of my lungs.

Then, I predicted the future again! “Don't Wake Me Up” was being masterfully played by all the characters, and when it reached the point where Patrick Stump traditionally sings the bridge, I turned to Audrey and said, “I bet that Brendon will come out and sing in Patrick's place!” As soon as I could look back to the stage, Brendon Urie was standing in front of the main microphone squealing, “THE MORNING RIPPED YOU AWAY (OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)!” He hit every note to my standards, and even threw in a nice vibrating hip movement for the crowd. Bob Morris, of course, decided to show off his guitar skills and completely made Brendon invisible at the end of the song. He stole the light, and the people loved him for it. Strangely enough, they only played about 4 songs from Goodbye Blues. I wish that I could have heard more, or even heard some stuff from So Sudden, but their set was enough to make me exceedingly happy.

Their last song, “Wine Red,” made me cry. Not because it was too perfect, but because it was over. We said goodbye to The Hush Sound on stage, but totally said hello to the band off-stage at the corner table, where I was so lucky to have met the one and only Greta Salpeter and Bob Morris. I just love them to death. I will forever get chills from the time I told Bob that I loved their performance and how great their music is. He looked in my eyes and said, “That means so much to us! Thank you for coming to support us!” Best moment of the night...or at least one of them.

Motion City Soundtrack

So, I know that every tour has to have that veteran band that everyone uses to get pumped up for the last performance, but I'm pretty sure that people were just pumped to be solely seeing these guys. Justin has such an amazing sense of humor; his blurbs in between songs were definite good-timey random words, making them so much more attractive in my eyes. If you want to attract someone, use your sense of humor and flatter them. He did both, and even did it with an orange bra on his head! That is no simple feat.

Onto the music: “LG FUAD,” “Broken Heart,” “Make Out Kids,” “Attractive Today,” and “My Favorite Accident,” among many others. They had a rather long set list, which was such a positive. Their performance was chock full of charismatic dynamics.

Final song: “The Future Freaks Me Out.” It couldn't have been more enjoyable; the couple in front of me were singing each line of the song to each other and they looked so damn happy to be alive. They ended, reminding us that their keyboardist, Jesse Johnson, was celebrating his birthday on the day of the event, so the crowd gave him a hefty round of applause. : )

At least a hundred or so people stayed solely for Motion City Soundtrack, and as soon as they finished, people just started going. It was good because it gave us more room, but they did miss out on the main event...

Panic at the Disco

Boys and girls, I have re-affirmed my faith in Panic at the Disco. I still stick to my convictions when I say that Pretty. Odd. is definitely my least favorite album from all time, but the way that they played everything together, I knew that I was having a great time and that's all that mattered to me.

“We're So Starving” was the first song to explode from their amplifiers, then literally warping into “Nine in the Afternoon.” It was such a rush to see Brendon Urie moving his head from left to right to left in front of the microphone. I'm taking that memory to the grave, for sure.

I'm not going into all that they played, but I can assure you that all the singles were played, from both albums. “Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off” was dedicated to all the singles out there, and as soon as the song was done, the stage was full of the bras of preteen scenesters. We also got a strong “I'M A DIIIIIIVVVVVVVAAAAAA!” scream from Brendon during a certain song. ;)

THERE WAS SO MUCH THAT WAS PLAYED FROM A FEVER YOU CAN'T SWEAT OUT!!! That is what really hooked me. I loved that despite the fact that they are “evolving,” they are still playing what made them famous in the first place. That made me smile. Songs from Pretty. Odd. include: “Folkin' Around,” “Behind The Sea,” and “She's A Handsome Woman.”

I have videos for these, but you'll have to wait. It'll take some time to upload them, so just be patient please. : )

The After Party

When my sister and I got into the car, we were greeted by sodas and burgers from Good Times, one of the best places to get a good all-American meal. They were delicious, to say the least, and the Pepsi was the best way for me to catch up on my great lack of fluid. As I type this, hours after the show, I'm still drinking tons of water. Thank goodness for water in this world, or I'd explode.

Due to the neurotic needs of my crazy mother, I sat for about 30 minutes after the concert in our hotel room internally screaming as my mother plucked hairs from my chin. Talk about the perfect balance of awesome and stupidity. Though, to make the positive outweigh the negative, my mom is forcing me to change the day that I have to go to Chicago for orientation, so that we can catch the George Michael concert there! HOW AMAZING IS THAT?! I'm excited.

All in all, the night was delightfully neat. I REALLY wish that I could've gotten a “I Have Friends In Holy Spaces” from Panic and at least one song from So Sudden from The Hush Sound, but I took such a splendid time from the Fillmore. I had a blast, hung out with some friends and got a good couple stories out of it. Talk about one hell of a night! : )

Wishing you have nights like these during the remainder of your summer...

- John

P. S. - I wrote this last night, but the hotel wouldn't allow me to connect to the web. Here is my review of the concert that I attended a last night, and I am quite pleased to have had such a great time, and even had such a great time writing this review. I hope that you enjoyed reading, despite how lame I am. (I hope that I got all the songs right; if I didn't and you were at the show, let me know! I want this to be as accurate as possible.)

♥

: )

Over the next five days, I have to help my pal, Audrey, pass her test to take college courses in high school and get prepared for the Panic at the Disco concert, so I'll be gone for the majority of the day (I will be out during the late evening hours, probably).

How I'm gonna stick my camera in my crotch and get through security, I'll never know.  I NEED to get photos of The Hush Sound!  Life will be splendid for the next few days as it always is.  ; )

Catch you in the early a.m.!

Yes, yes.  Let me talk about the e-dramaz one last time.

So, you all remember the big e-dramaz from the other day/yesterday?  Guess what?  I PREDICTED IT HERE!  It took about a week, but my prediction has come true!

*gasp*

So, I've made a list of predictions that I believe will happen sometime in the near future.  Since I was right about the first one, let's test my luck!  : )

CHRIS FARLEY IS GOING TO COME BACK IN THE FORM OF ANOTHER BEING!  I just sort of get the vibe that we really need a funny, big guy for our generation, and that we'll be getting someone like Chris Farley in our near future.  Who didn't love Beverly Hills Ninja or Tommy Boy?  Those movies were HYSTERICAL!

THIS CHOCOLATE WILL CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS ON BOTH CHOCOLATE AND COFFEE!  I've always thought that Starbucks was evil, but their new brand of chocolate they have out now TOTALLY confirms my suspicions.  THEY WANT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!  Their stuff tastes sooooooo good; I bought 4 bars this morning and can't get enough.   In the near future, everyone will eat these.

SCHOOL IS OUT FOR SUMMER!  With all of the drama starting tweens that are getting out of school for summer these days, don't you dare try to mess with my Buzznet.  I'm already ready to stop on your arguments with reason and logic, so do your worst and I'll do my best to clean things up.  : )